Cholent: A stew that has its origin in the European shtetl where the impoverished families used very tough meat as a source of protein. This meat, in order to be edible was cooked overnight with potatoes, beans and any other available vegetables.
Cholent for Two
I got a shtick flaysh
From my butcher named Maysh
Is this a rock or a stone?
It’s as hard as a bone.
What can I do?
Make a tzimiss or stew?
For this kind of flaysh
A cholent will do.
Buhrikess and beblach
A mehrr mitt a tsibbelleh
Cook slowly overnight
Watch the pot so it doesn’t dribbeleh
Carefully set the table
With a place for two
Use a hacksaw and sledge
And you’ll enjoy a cholent for two.
Let’s have a fourshpize
I’m a bisseleh farshtupt
Boil me some floimen
Maybe the stupt will erupt
Did I hear flankem
Mitt ah lokshun kugle?
A burial site awaits you
With “Taps” from a bugle
OY! Where’s the Maalox?
My heartburn’s on fire
Pour in an antacid
There’ll be no cease-fire
Burn the recipe
And don’t save the ashes
Don’t even go near it
Or you’ll plotz from the gases
Did I forget the cholent
That cholent for two?
It stuffs up the colon
So that nothing gets through.
Is there a laxative in this house?
It’s a struggle to evacuate
Get me on the bowl
Before I detonate
A zissen kompote
Will put an end to this tsuriss
Put your end on the brettle
And feed the cholent to an allosaurus.
Dictionary
flaysh: a piece of meat
cholent: a stew using tough meat and is usually cooked over night.
tzimiss: a stew with potatoes
buhrikess: beets
beblach: beans
mehr: a carrot
tsibbileh: an onion
fourshpize: appetizer
bisseleh fahrshtupt: slightly constipated
floimen: prunes
flanken: ribs
lokshen kugle: noodle kugle
plotz: explode
zissen compote: a sweet appetizer
tsuriss: troubles
brettle: toilet seat
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